Monday, April 19, 2010

The way forward

– a skit based on Acts 9: 1-20

Characters: Anybody Everyperson (owner of a party planning business), balloon inflation technician, table decorator, God disguised as a AAA mechanic, and a narrator.


Narrator: Once upon a time, a long time ago, in fact it was in the beginning, everything was done God’s Way, and it was good. It was very good. After a long series of fits and starts, God’s people figured out that God’s Way was a good way to do things. They called it the wise way. If one did not do things God’s Way, then one was following the foolish way. But human beings, being who they are, were soon calling God’s Way the right way and everything else the wrong way. It didn’t take long after that for it then to be referred to as my way and your way, or my way and the wrong way.

Act 1: Scene 1: Setting: a party planning business. Employees are getting an area ready for a party. Anybody Everyperson is checking on how they are doing their jobs. The balloon inflation technician is working furiously but accomplishing a great deal. Sign displayed with the company logo and motto: “Our way is the best way to have a party.”)

AE: How’s that balloon inflation thing going?

Tech: It’s going fine. I’m almost done. Just a few more to go.

AE: Are you going to tie them that way? Here, give me that!

(Grabs balloon but loses grip and it flies around the room.)

AE: (huffily) Well, just hurry up and finish those balloons! (Stalks out the door.)

Tech: (rolls eyes and sighs loudly.) (Says in a sarcastic, sing-song voice) “Our way is the best way to have a party!” Yeah, right.

Act 1: Scene 2: Setting: the table decorator is setting the communion table with the cross, candlesticks, flowers, ceramic birds, offering plates and arranging them in an unusual way but is obviously pleased with the effects.

AE: Is that how you’re going to set the table?

TD: Yeah, isn’t it great? It’s so post-modern, asymmetrical, non-politically correct! (Walks offstage to get another table element.)

AE: Not today! (rearranges table elements in a typical fashion and then walks offstage.)

TD: (Walks back in to see table rearranged. Rolls eyes and sighs loudly.) (Says in a sarcastic, sing-song voice) “Our way is the best way to have a party!” Yeah, right.

Act 1, Scene 3: Setting: Anybody Everyperson is in her car, pulled over the side of the road with a flat tire, alone late at night, on a deserted country road.

Narrator: No one had paid attention to the wise way and the foolish way for a long time. God knew that something had to be done to save people from themselves and from one another, and so God decided to turn things upside down. At the right time, God sent Jesus to teach the foolish way of love.

AE: (feeling sorry for herself and crying) No one likes me at work. They all hate me. I can’t seem to do anything right. I’m so stupid. Why did I ever think I could run a party business? And now a flat tire! What am I going to do? I’m stranded out here! O God, please help me!

AAA guy: (“AAA guy” placard in front.) What seems to be the problem, ma’am?

AE: Oh thank God you’re here. I’ve got a flat tire.

AAA guy: Well, you’re welcome! Nice of you to say thank you. Most folks don’t remember to thank me, especially when they’re going through a difficult time such as yourself.

AE: Thank you? I said thank … oh my word! Who are you?

AAA guy: (switches placards.) The triple A guy of the cosmos! The Alpha and the Omega! The creator of the universe. And you. Why are you persecuting my child?

AE: Your child? You mean Jesus? I never said anything against him.

AAA guy: (Reaches into toolbag.) Here, one of my tools. (Hands AE a hand mirror.) Look in that.

AE: Yeah, so what? I see me, a screwed-up control freak who bullies everybody.

AAA guy: No, what you see is me—I just happen to look like you. You are a child of God and I will treat you that way.

AE: Wow, really? I am your child? Oh, I’m your child that I’ve been persecuting!

AAA guy: And some others too. Like your employees. You know, when I created human beings, I said they were good, not perfect. I think you’re good, and so are they. Do you think you could live with good?

AE: Good sounds very good right about now.

AAA guy: Okay, then. I want you to take that mirror to work and show it to your employees. Then I want you to say “You are a child of God and I will treat you that way.” Then behave that way.

AE: Are you kidding me?

AAA guy: (throws her a look.)

AE: Okay, okay, I’ll do it.

AAA guy: Now let’s take care of this tire.

AE: Is that how you’re going to fix it?

AAA guy: (throws her another long, slow look.)

AE: Just kidding, just kidding!

Act 2, Scene 1: Setting: the party planning business. AE has made a new business sign that reads “You are a child of God and I will treat you that way.”

Tech: (points at sign.) That’s different. What’s going on, boss?

AE: (smiles.) Here, look in this. (hands over the mirror.)

Tech: (looks in the mirror.) Yeah, so?

AE: When you look in there, you’re looking at God. I forgot about that. I forgot what I looked like. I forgot what you look like.

Tech: So, things are going to be different around here, huh?

AE: It may not always be a party but from now on, we’re doing things God’s way.

Narrator: And they all lived, really lived, ever after. And it was good.

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