Off the map, without a plan

For quite a while now I haven't believed in that whole 'God has a plan for me' thing.  When you think about it, it's one of the most self-absorbed things one can say about the divine.  Yes, I believe that there is a God, that of Love, but a plan? All scoped out, just waiting for me to figure out what it is?  With all that there is in the heavens and the earth, God has also mapped out each and every life since time immemorial?  The purpose of this seems to be to lift up a shaky, vulnerable ego, not sure of its place in this world.  And right now I could use some lifting up, just not in a way that puts me at the center of my own little universe.

Now that I'm searching for a church to serve I'm also wondering about the working of the Holy Spirit in this process.  In the past I thought the Spirit would lead me to a specific church, one prepared for me.  But again, listen to how ego-centered that is.  Realistically, I would think that the leading of the Spirit has more to do with being:  being authentic, real, compassionate, loving, alive -- and helping others to do the same.  The rest is just geography.  It doesn't really matter where I serve, as long as it is a place and a people where I can be true to that calling of the Spirit.