Tuesday, July 03, 2007

Gone to the dogs?

I thought the United Church of Christ was the denomination that welcomes everyone--at least that's how we portray ourselves. We have no rings to kiss (maybe a butt or two) but there are some hurdles and hoops to jump through (it's called seminary). Not an outright test of loyalty but some might argue that point in the midst of a UCC polity course.

The Universal Life Church is the only denomination in the world that opens its doors to all, welcomes all who ask to Become an Ordained Minister and grants it without question. We are a non-denominational ULC church. We support a full spectrum interfaith ministry. Over 20 million Universal Life Church (ULC) ministers have been ordained online throughout the world. We make no religious hurdles, no hoops to jump through, no tests of loyalty, no rings to kiss and no fees to pay. Why? The ULC Monastery represents freedom, and to have freedom you can not make demands upon individuals (emphasis mine). In the Universal Life Church (ULC) Monastery everyone is equal - the same level of greatness is enjoyed by all. We will be your personal minister/consulate and advisor, with your consent at no charge to you. We are here for you each day. There is a scripture which says "there is a friend, which sticketh closer than a brother." We wish to be that friend for you. We ordain all who ask and welcome you to the Universal Life Church Monastery Ministries.

In order to test this church's extravagant welcome, a clergy friend of mine decided to submit his dog for ordination. Yes, his dog. All you dyslexics out there will get the joke. So now we have Rev. Stanley, ordained to the Universal Life Church (complete with a framed certificate of ordination), raising a leg to injustice and chewing the pants off the powers that be. Perhaps not a ring but a studded collar to kiss would be in order.


Grandmère Mimi said...

Does The Rev. Stanley do internet counseling? Woof, woof. Not asking for myself, of course. I'm asking for my old dog friend Clumber.

Cynthia said...

I don't know...perhaps he would use a yaptop computer. ;)

Suzanne said...

I'm considering having Milo ordained so that we can co-officiate at weddings and funerals, and, what the heck maybe even a sermon or two.

I've found several sermons on his yaptop just waiting to be preached.

sharecropper said...

Maybe this is the way to satisfy my longing for ordination - just do by email! Can't even say I laughed all the way to/from the post office though.